PERFECT, ONE OF A KIND

“Look at this, folks—tremendous, the best picture you’ve ever seen! There I am, right next to Elon Musk, under the most beautiful American flag—huge, perfect, nobody does flags like us. My hair’s fantastic, obviously, and Elon’s got that look like he’s thinking about rockets or maybe how to make my eagle, Trump Eagle One—TEAGLE, the greatest eagle ever—fly to Mars. We’re in these sharp blue suits, total winners, but let me tell you, when TE1 swoops in, it’s going to be YUGE. Probably drop the best surprise on some loser’s head, believe me. This is a historic moment, folks—unbelievable!”